I like to mop

Hello God!

I was sick last weekend. I want to tell you what happened to me. I think falling sick made me realized how blessed I am in life.

My parents were not really mad at me despite the report card incident. They thought I was a weird but funny boy. Haha! When they found out I was feeling ill, they were so concerned.

Last Friday, I started feeling feverish and weak all over. My parents were out of town for a short holiday. Mom called me but I did not pick up her call as I was asleep and sick. Later in the evening, Mom called home again and sister picked up the phone.

Mom: Young Hee, where’s Day? He didn't pick up my call. (mom must be thinking I 'ran away' from home again)

Sister Young Hee: 하루(Day) is at home. He said he is unwell.

Mom: What is Day doing now?

Sister Young Hee: Day is mopping the floor.

Mom: Oh??!!!

Sister Young Hee: Yes, you heard it right. Day is mopping the floor. I think he is well.

Mom: Okay. Annyong-hi kashipshio.

After moping the floor, I went back to bed after taking some porridge. Throat feels painful. No kim-chee for me that night.

My fever got worse over the weekend. My parents were worried it was H1N1 flu. But then, fever began to subside.

On Monday afternoon, while she was at work, Mom called home, and sister picked up the phone again.

Mom: Young Hee, how’s하루(Day)?

Sister Young Hee: He is mopping the floor. I guess he recovered from his sickness.

Mom: Again? Oh, Day is still sick. Your brother will mop the floor when he is sick. That strange little brother of yours. He should be in bed.

That night, Mom sat me down for a talk. She thinks I have an obsession for mopping the floor when I am sick.

Mom: 하루(Day), don’t mop the floor again okay? It’s a maid’s job. The floor is too clean already.

Me: What can’t I mop the floor um-ma?

Mom: It’s so clean, shiny and smooth now. Mop any more and I might slip and break my hip!

Therefore, I’ll stop mopping the floor for now (maybe for a day!). Hehehehe.

Kamsahamnida haneunim! o(∩_∩)o

Have some chocolate

Hello God!

You made men and women to live on the earth. I think females are very complicated and complex creatures. How do we talk to our mom or female friends? They are moody especially at that one time of the month. I was thinking if I can use this as a guide:

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: You look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty thousand won.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that dress!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

So, here have some chocolate.

Kamsahamnida haneunim! o(∩_∩)o

Letter to mom

Hello God!

I would like to tell you a story about mom and me. Today, I wrote a letter to my mother left it on the centre of the pillow on my bed. Before she woke up, I made her nice breakfast and made sure everything in my bedroom was neat and tidy. Then, I took my bag and quickly left the house.

Well, when mother got up, she was surprised with the breakfast prepared in the kitchen. However, she called my name but couldn't find me at home. As she walked past by my bedroom she had another surprise seeing that the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then, she saw the envelope on my pillow.

It was addressed “엄마” (mom). With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear um ma,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new girlfriend Yoo Kyung because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.

I've been finding real passion with Yoo Kyung and she is so nice to me. I know when you meet her you'll like her too - even with all her makeup, tattoos and minidress. But it's not only the passion Mom, she is pregnant and Yoo Kyung said that she wants to have the child and that we can be very happy together.

Even though Yoo Kyung is much older than me (anyway, 39 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Yoo Kyung has a great CD collection; she does not have a place to stay and we will look for a place to rent together. It's true she has other boys(or men) as well but I know she'll be faithful to me in her own way. She wants to have many more children with me(before her menopause) and that's now one of my dreams too.

Yoo Kyung taught me that weed doesn't really hurt anyone and she'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the ketamine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Yoo Kyung can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Mom, I'm 20 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving son,

Day

At the bottom of the page were the letters " PTO".

Hands still trembling, my mother turned the sheet, and read:

PS:

um ma, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's on my study desk. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. Don’t be angry, okay?

I love you!

Your loving son,

Day

Dear God, I am a naughty boy sometimes but I am changing! I promise to work harder and get better results in my next exam. Mom was angry for a while but she calmed down when I fed her the breakfast and showed her my hush puppy eyes.

Kamsahamnida haneunim! o(∩_∩)o